


Leonie Pinelli's Guide to High School, Awkward Het Dating, and Making the Perfect Saucer

by evercloseyoureyes



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, F/F, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Misogyny, baby dykes, baby gays, because i have d slur privilege, butch leonie pinelli, doing this for the gays (me), gay repression, i got it all!, its not a big plot point but leonie has it, misogynistic insults, nothing serious tho, the worldbuilding makes sense if you dont think about it, there is a liberal usage of dyke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23799421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evercloseyoureyes/pseuds/evercloseyoureyes
Summary: "Leonie has never backed down from anything in her life, no matter how stupid it is. She’s not about to stop now. Hilda is making noises of disgust, but they’re no match for Leonie’s MANGRIT and DETERMINATION.“Loser gives the winner twenty bucks,” she says, sticking her hand out.Lysithea shakes it.“Deal.”
Relationships: Leonie Pinelli & Ignatz Victor, Lysithea von Ordelia/Leonie Pinelli, Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril, Raphael Kirsten/Ignatz Victor, maybe more
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Leonie Pinelli's Guide to High School, Awkward Het Dating, and Making the Perfect Saucer

Leonie takes the bet head-on because she’s not a fucking coward.

“For the last time” Hilda reminds her “It’s not a bet! All I said was you don’t seem like the type to have a boyfriend. And if you were you would have gotten one by now. Everyone’s got one.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Marianne says softly.

“Mari, there is not a single boy out there who deserves you” Hilda responds matter of factly, and Leonie nods, she has to agree with that one. Marianne smiles and goes back to sewing battle armor for Lysethia’s beanie babies.

“Well I could easily get a boyfriend, it’s not hard! Guys are practically falling over us girls all the time.”

Hilda shrugs. “Then go get one.”

“I will! I’m gonna prove it to you and I’ll win! I’ll do it tomorrow” Leonie says with determination. 

Lysithea pops her head in from the privacy fort she made surrounding her desk, like a witch being summoned by the sheer prospect of competition. 

“Win what? Is there a bet?”

Hilda sighs, rolling her perfectly manicured eyes. (Is a manicure also on the face? Leonie isn’t sure).

“Leonie says she’s going to try and get a boyfriend.”

Lysethia stares at the redhead girl with fire in her eyes, and fire in her crests, too. Probably.

“ _You_ won’t win if _I_ win first!”

Leonie has never backed down from anything in her life, no matter how stupid it is. She’s not about to stop now. Hilda is making noises of disgust, but they’re no match for Leonie’s MANGRIT and DETERMINATION.

“Loser gives the winner twenty bucks,” she says, sticking her hand out.

Lysithea shakes it. 

“Deal.”

  
  


°

  
  
  


She decides to ask out Ignatz because he seems like a safe bet. He’s nice, pleasant to talk to. Beyond both being in the Golden Deer they also have art class together. Leonie is better at ceramics but he’s much more talented with painting.

He’s not as stuck up as some (most) of the other boys at this school, working-class kids gotta stick together right? 

Wait, if his parents own a business does that make them middle class instead? Does owning a small general store count as being capitalists? This seems like a question for Dorothea. Either way, he’s not rich so he’d be a lot more tolerable than some (Lorenz) of the other (Ferdinand) guys here.

He’s a dependable option, and that’s just what Leonie needs.

  
  


She asks him after Study Hall lets out.

Eisner Number One is chill, easily the most chill teacher in the entire school. Rivaled only by his sister Eisner Number Two, who teaches Leonie’s art class and gives her leftover supplies. 

He doesn’t mind people hanging out after class so students mill around. Leonie thinks it’ll be a nice environment that won’t startle her classmate.

All his friends are around so he has their support, and she knows that ENO is his favorite teacher, so that’s double support! All she needs to do now is think of the perfect way to ask him.

  
  


“Hey, you wanna be my boyfriend?”

Ignatz jumps like a small woodland creature, hand held to his chest. “Wha?”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend? 

In the front of the classroom, Claude looks like he’s about to start wheezing. Hilda is performing the world’s most dramatic facepalm in the history of facepalms.

Ignatz blushes a little at the bluntness of Leonie’s question, but she doesn’t believe in beating around the bush.

“Um. Yeah! That would be nice, I think!” He says after composing himself for a moment. Leonie grins, her mission successful. She’s now twenty dollars richer and Lysethia can suck it.

She swings her backpack over her shoulder and is about to exit class when Ignatz’s reedy voice stops her.

“Wait! Aren’t we supposed to decide on a date?”

Oh yeah, she forgot about that part. People like to go eat on dates right? So what’s a restaurant that’s within her budget…

“Do you want to go to the ice cream shop? The one by my house?” She decides on. Ignatz’s face lights up, so that was probably the right decision. “We can go tomorrow after school.”

“The ice cream there is marvelous! That’s a wonderful idea” Igzatz replies, clasping his hands together. Perfect then, everything is set.

  
  


°

  
  


Leonie holds her hand out in front of Lysethia in the hallway outside the classroom. The shorter girl looks furious but she places a crisp 20 dollar bill into Leonie’s palm. Golden Deer girls do not break bets.

“You’re just lucky because Ignatz isn’t scared of you, and we have Study Hall before second period,” she says. “Who else was I supposed to ask in there, _Lorenz?_ What a joke.”

Leonie does feel a little bad, it’s a well-known fact most of the guys at this school are at the least annoyed by Lysethia, and at most terrified of her. Maybe she should keep this competition going, it is kind of fun.

“We only decided on a date, that’s all.” She says. “Let’s have another bet for who can kiss their boy first.”

Lysithea cheers at this, determination in her eyes. “I was gonna ask Cyril out, he’s been making cow eyes at me all semester… this is gonna be easy.”

Leonie hadn’t realized there was already a romance going on between those two under her nose, but she’s not exactly perceptive to this kind of stuff anyway.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” Lysithea asks, and Leonie shakes her head. “Me neither... hm.”

The bell rings and they both groan. Leonie has Biology next and she’s _not_ looking forward to it. Her lab partner is Ferdinand and he’s fine; he just doesn’t know how to shut up, makes it too hard for her to focus. If she doesn’t focus the words on her instruction sheet start to swim and she’ll mess up dissection again.

Lysithea waves her goodbye as they part ways, and the whole walk over Leonie considers more bets to heighten the stakes. 

  
  


°

  
  


“You do _not_ just _ask_ someone to kiss you on the first date! Where is your sense of decorum?”

She’s starting to regret even mentioning anything to Ferdinand in the first place. She mostly just wanted to hear him chatter about something that _isn’t_ his rivalry with Edelgard.

“Well sorry mister moneypants, I didn’t realize there were rules to this kind of thing!” She responds while setting out a scalpel next to the rest of the dissection tools. 

They’re cutting open cow hearts today, which look pretty cool. 

Ferdinand opens his mouth to retort and then closes it again. He’s usually pretty snobbish but is getting better, Dorothea’s been growing on him.

“What I meant is there’s no romance to something like that! You want to let your attraction build on the first date and _then_ kiss him on the second date. Give him something to look forward to for next time.”

He definitely has a point, she’s got to admit. Ugh, score one to him.

“Who is the lucky boy anyway?” He asks as he makes the first incision into the heart. Literally, not metaphorically.

“Oh, Ignatz. I have Art and Study Hall with him, he’s nice.”

Ferdinand hums thoughtfully.

“He’s helped make our sets in Drama before… he’s cute. You’ve got some okay taste.”

Leonie considers that. He is pretty cute, she supposes. She doesn’t have much time to dwell on it longer though, because behind her Annette manages to cut a vein wrong and a gush of blood squirts out all over Linhardt, who proceeds to pass out.

“This is why I made him sign that waiver, damn brat” she hears the teacher mutter as the tall and catatonic boy is rushed to the nurse’s office by Ferdinand and Dedue.

  
  
  


°  
  


The ice cream shop by her house is small and family-owned. It's the type of establishment that’s been there forever, Leonie remembers going on rare occasions as a kid when they had the money.

Ignatz is already seated inside when she gets there and she’s not surprised considering she had to walk. He hasn’t ordered anything yet though, what a perfect gentleman. 

She offers to pay and he makes sounds of protest but she won’t allow it. She’s pretty sure the guy is supposed to pay on dates but she’s always wanted to be the one to provide for her partner. Ignatz orders some strawberry ice cream and she keeps it simple with vanilla. 

  
  


They sit by the window and talk about their art class. Eisner Number Two is having a section dedicated just to ceramics, which Leonie is excited for, but Ignatz is not. He says he’s nervous but she offers to help him if he needs it. She likes 3d-based media, it just makes sense to her, and she has some previous pottery experience. He gives her a lovely smile and she grins back.

Both their phones buzz at the same time and show frowns, wondering who's bothering her this time as she digs into her pocket.

  
  


Ignatz giggles, the sound softly coming from his nose. Leonie decides to maybe be a _little_ bit more romantic and not spend this entire afternoon on her phone. 

“Do you want to go window shopping?” There are a few small stores around and it is the most passionate activity she can think of. Ignatz definitely doesn’t seem opposed and they walk off to the surrounding boutiques.

Being on a date is… pleasant, she decides. She doesn’t entirely get what the big fuss is about though. It's basically like when they hang out, except she’s never been around _just_ Ignatz.

Turns out Just Ignatz is a little bit more talkative than Group Ignatz.

“If the goddess was here with us I think she’d be more magnificent than anything we humans could ever picture!” He informs her, while the two of them examine the mural on the side of the drug store. Leonie shrugs.

“Probably, she is a goddess after all.” She’s not the best with things she can’t see, touch, or hear. Maybe Claude’s been getting to her.

There’s a bench in front of the mural and they sit down. It’s about six o’clock now and she hasn’t even begun to think about the homework for her Adrestian Literature class that’s due tomorrow. She should probably get home soon and finish it.

Ignatz seems to have a similar idea. “I should be getting home soon,” he says after fidgeting in his seat. Leonie nods.

“Yeah, me too.”

There’s a long, pregnant pause. The two of them stare at each other and if she turns correctly she can see herself reflected in the lens of his large glasses. Who invented glasses? She wonders. How did people come about making them? How long have humans been wearing them? What if the goddess had glasses? That would be strange. 

Oh, wait is she supposed to be staring at his eyes because she’s been looking at his left cheek for a good three minutes. Which part of the face is the most acceptable to stare at for an extended period of time? Probably the nose right? That is easily less intimidating than straight in the ey-

  
  


Ignatz interrupts her train of thought by leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss on her cheek. 

“Oh,” she says. 

Then, because she wasn’t raised in a barn (despite what _some_ people think), she says “thank you.”

“You’re welcome!” he replies because he was also raised to be polite and well behaved. His face is beet red. It’s always easy to tell when he’s flustered or embarrassed. Leonie feels a bit flushed as well, but more because of the suddenness of being jolted from her thoughts.

There’s another very long pregnant pause. The two of them both immediately pull out their phones in a desperate act of distraction.

  
  


“Aw man,” she says, clicking her tongue. “I was hoping to get that twenty extra dollars.”

“What?” Ignatz asks. She can briefly see a dm with who she thinks is Claude on his phone screen.

“Me and Lysithea had a bet on who could get a date first, I won that one. Then we made another for who can get the first kiss with their boyfriends, no one's won yet.”

“Oh” he says, sounding a little disappointed. Leonie suddenly feels bad, she’s always saying things without thinking and hurting people's feelings, and subsequently getting herself into trouble.

“I didn’t ask you out for the bet, I think you’re cute” she decides on, parroting Ferdinand’s words which aren’t even untrue. Ignatz _is_ cute. He gives her one of his suprised little smiles and she feels a bit proud of herself for that conflict resolution.

“Well, I think you look quite nice as well! Like a sunflower!”

Leonie’s never been compared to a flower before so she can’t help but laugh, but still, it’s a sweet compliment.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! Please comment and subscribe for more epic fortnight gamer montages


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